[a writey thing from many months ago]
Rejection is refreshing an inbox seeking rejection, expecting rejection, preparing for the essence of rejection, yet being unable to resist, unable to steer the self away from the drowning magnets of the all-absorbing glutinous gushing stubborn streams of all of the emotions that come from rejection. and is that punishment, for all past-times of not consenting to fulfil another’s ego-inspired wants and desires? is it punishment for lacking the strength to stand up for my variably-expressed non-wants and non-desires? is that deservedness for the balance of my planetary luck? is that earnedness for every time i have wrongfully resented my own existence, inflicting negative vibe-consequences upon others? probably. and yet it’s a constant. this is dealing with the dealings and getting up, like a piece of sand rolling to new seas. I turn to myself, with an icing-glaze of cake-warmed affection. (because someone has to show it. and I’m too tired to run away, from the me that is running away from the me that has run away from me.) Get up, you soggy piece of battered sand. get up, you… you… sand-creature 🙂 It’s only the ever-rolling tide, you should be used to it by now. but it’s okay that you’re not. We’re together, now. Everything… well, okay, not everything, but… things are going to be okay. Roll in, roll out. Bury.
and emerge, like the sparkles on the wave-rooves, smiling at the sun.